Injection tips.

I know there are many more experts on the subject out there than me. I just wanted to drop a word to you guys out there who have to give their wives injections.

I have to admit since we’ve got a dog who is diabetic and has to get her insulin shots twice a day I’m probably a little more comfortable with a syringe than most.

No, I’m not comparing my wife to a dog. Shut up.

Anyway here are the rules guys.

1)Relax
You aren’t going to be doing an “in the vein tourniquet kind of shot”. The injections you’ll be giving (if you have to do injections) are going to be subcuaneous (under the skin) or
intamuscular (into the muscle). If the injection was one those that has to go directly into a vein then a) they wouldn’t trust you to do it and b) an actual doctor or nurse would give it. Even though there is a chance you could mess up your cycle there is little chance you could mess up so bad that you’ll kill her.

2) No wimp zone
I totally get there may be some of you that may get a little uneasy about prepping and shooting your wives with a syringe full of chemicals. If needles freak you out then my only words for you are “get over it”. Seriously. You’re a man. Being a man means sometimes putting on a furrowed brow and punching through the fear. This is that time. Your wife is probably already scared enough without you telliing her she needs to do it on her own. She needs you. Suck it up and get it done. You know as well as I that as a guy you have to play off things lke they’re no big deal even though you’re about to vomit on the inside.

3) Do Your Homework
There’s a darn good chance there are videos out there showing you how to give the injections. Reading injection instructions are never as good as watching somebody actually do it. If your doctor or clinic doesn’t have links to injection tutorial videos the drug maker probably does. Its called Google. Nothing will help you better than watching the videos as you go along. I strongly reccommend watching the entire video before you actually give the shot. Its like cooking with a recipe you haven’t read all the way. You’ll get to the next step only to realize there was something you’re missing.

4) Think of a time she pissed you off
Nothing will help you jam that needle in more than thinking of the time she threw away your favorite screened tee or proclaimed publicly in front of your freinds that you were in fact NOT goiing on the fishing trip. There is something satisfying in popping that syringe into her.

5) Don’t give her the shot at all
If you found any satisfaction at all in thinking about following rule four you’re a terrible husband and not ready to be a father. Really dude? That’s how you’re going to treat the future mother of your children? Shame on you.

6)Ice Ice Baby
Ha ha get it. Ice Ice Baby. Yeah, see what I did there. Nothing helps numb up an injection site more than ice. Since the injection will be easier if she doesn’t jump, scream, cry, pull back, etc then I hijghly reccommend having her ice up the injection area immediately before you give it to her. Works like a charm for us.

So there are your tips for shooting up your wife. Follow them carefully and let me know if you have more tips to share with those other fathers on the Road To Daddyhood. (Shameless Plug).

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