The weirdest thing

It’s been quite a while since I’ve posted. Things have changed….ALOT! During the past 3 years or so we’ve been through multiple failed IUI cycles. We’ve been through a failed IVF cycle. Then of course the miscarriage. We’ve watched the insurance and fertility money just whittle away to nothing. We seem to have had more downs than ups. After the failed IVF and the exhaustion of fertility financing we decided to take some time to focus on ourselves. Well, that’s what we said anyway.

The reality is, full disclosure, that our fertility clinic miscalculated the insurance coverage so we were left with.a $5k bill from them. We’ve struggled to pay it off. We’re not destitute but we are impulsive and not very good with money. The financial side of things did give us a bona file chance to get our emotional batteries recharged. I started running and have lost close to 60 lbs. my wife started her own healthy journey and has lost 40. Physically we’re in a much better place. I’m thinking of doing my first half marathon in November and she was thinking about the Disney Princess half marathon in February. Getting fit physically has given us a much better outlook on life. It’s given us confidence and a sense of purpose. It grounds us and connects us. We just feel right. Except for the absence of a child.

During the last year or so we just haven’t talked about it. It’s been the pink elephant in the room. We both desperately want children. We both know what we need to do have one. But neither one of us seem to want to talk about it. We talk about running and fitness and future races. We talk about how good (well better) we look and how much better we feel. We talk about planning vacations around races and about the future. But not about children.

We didn’t give up. We still timed ovulation cycles and did the “baby dance” (that’s means sex for the uninitiated) faithfully and with the diligence of a Spartan being marched off to face an unstoppable force. More than once I heard “climb on and do your business”. We did it because that’s what couples struggling with infertility do. We knew with her PCOS and our history of failed cycles under medical supervision the chances we’d get pregnant we’re infinitesimal. But we did what we had to so we could to hold onto that one thin microscopic thread of hope. At least we could say we were doing something.

But every once in a great while something unexpected happens. Something miraculous. Sometimes life will surprise you. Sometimes God likes to sneak up on you and whisper in your here “See, I really was listening.” Well, He punked us good. On Friday my wife tested positive. She’s pregnant. Somehow we’ve given a gift. A special child. The doctors and tens of thousands of dollars couldn’t do it. But somehow there is a seed of life.

A new chapter and a new focus is beginning.


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